3 days ago I was supposed to leave for Gatlingburg, TN. but around 3 weeks ago, i broke my foot. A lot of emotions have gone through me within the last week or so. I know that God has a plan and He works all things out for those who believe in Him, but I have really been struggling a lot with God's will for my life for this summer. I was pretty confident in that fact that God had called me to go to TN. I had a great peace about it and I was really excited. Yeah I didn't want to leave home and the ministry i have here, but I knew that God was going to do something awesome up in TN. After phone conversations and prayer and thinking it through, I am going to make a final decision on June 7th after I go back to the doctor. Maybe God will allow me to go then, but I am really feeling like the door is closing here. And that confuses me, upsets me and somewhat angers me. Why would God allow me to get so excited about this ministry and going and then slam the door in my face. (ok i know he hasn't slammed the door in my face but that what it feels like sometimes) I know it sounds like im whining or not trusting God, but I am really just questioning. I'm having a hard time dealing with this right now and writing about it helps to process.
I really hate this cast on my leg. It is a pain. Hopping around all day wears me out. Asking people for help drives me crazy. Staying in my house all the time is causing me to lose my mind, but its to tiresome to get out and go anywhere, not to mention, I don't have my car right now.
on a brighter note, my grades for last semester were; 1 A, 3 B's and 1 C+
and im taking Mark online next semester and I am really excited, so excited that I already ordered the CD and will be ordering the book soon and I plan on getting the work done over summer break.
Pray for me to have peace and patience with God.
and to find a place to live; and afford come August.
God is good.
i whine to much.
but i am human.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
By HIS wounds we are healed!
WOW! thats what I am feeling right now. God is really moving in my heart and life right now. It is amazing as I look at over the last few years of my life. He has done so many great things. I am rejoicing greatly in that!
I just finished a project on Isaiah 52:13-53:12
he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted. 14 Just as there were many who were appalled at him [b]—
his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man
and his form marred beyond human likeness—
15 so will he sprinkle many nations, [c]
and kings will shut their mouths because of him.
For what they were not told, they will see,
and what they have not heard, they will understand.
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression [d] and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken. [e]
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes [f] his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life [g] and be satisfied [h] ;
by his knowledge [i] my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, [j]
and he will divide the spoils with the strong, [k]
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.
I just finished a project on Isaiah 52:13-53:12
The Suffering and Glory of the Servant
13 See, my servant will act wisely [a] ;he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted. 14 Just as there were many who were appalled at him [b]—
his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man
and his form marred beyond human likeness—
15 so will he sprinkle many nations, [c]
and kings will shut their mouths because of him.
For what they were not told, they will see,
and what they have not heard, they will understand.
Isaiah 53
1 Who has believed our messageand to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression [d] and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken. [e]
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes [f] his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life [g] and be satisfied [h] ;
by his knowledge [i] my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, [j]
and he will divide the spoils with the strong, [k]
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.
I focused on verses 4-6, and God has reminded me of what Jesus did on the cross for ME!! He took on my sin, my evil, my sickness, so that I would not have to. He took on death..He was beaten, mocked and crucified on a cross so that I could be healed. One of the verses I referred to in my paper was 1 Peter 2:24..He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
That phrase..by His wounds we are healed..I love that phrase and it keeps going through my mind..it means more to me after doing this project. I am better understanding how great of thing it was for Christ to die for me.
As I sat down to have my quiet time, I opened the book I have been using and turned to todays page..and the verse was 1 Peter 2:24! I was like whoa! wow! God thats awesome.
Jesus came so that He could die on the cross for our sin. He himself, sinless, became sin. I will never comprehend the greatness of the cross and what happened there, but I am thankful for a savior willing to die for me.
Hallelujah what a savior!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Discipleship
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit-Matthew 28:19
I've been thinking a lot about discipleship. As follower's of Jesus, we are commanded to make disciples. I feel like most of the church has gotten this wrong. We to often make converts, not true followers of Jesus. We want to see people get saved, and yes that's a great thing, but to many times we do not take the time to disciple new believers and we expect them to know how to live and so forth.
My heart's desire is to disciple teenager's and to see them thrive in their walk with Christ. I want to make disciples, who make disciples who make disciples.
What exactly is discipleship? I'm not sure if I completely know, but my best shot at it is...walking along side a person, living life with them..teaching the word..prayer..
I am interested in what other's think about this topic.
If you had to describe discipleship what would you say?
How can we get better at this?
Let me hear your thoughts, im interested.
I've been thinking a lot about discipleship. As follower's of Jesus, we are commanded to make disciples. I feel like most of the church has gotten this wrong. We to often make converts, not true followers of Jesus. We want to see people get saved, and yes that's a great thing, but to many times we do not take the time to disciple new believers and we expect them to know how to live and so forth.
My heart's desire is to disciple teenager's and to see them thrive in their walk with Christ. I want to make disciples, who make disciples who make disciples.
What exactly is discipleship? I'm not sure if I completely know, but my best shot at it is...walking along side a person, living life with them..teaching the word..prayer..
I am interested in what other's think about this topic.
If you had to describe discipleship what would you say?
How can we get better at this?
Let me hear your thoughts, im interested.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
This past year.
I welcomed in the year in Hong Kong.
Finished my 3rd year of college..started my 4th.
had knee surgery.
became a youth leader
realized even more my need for my Savior
made some awesome friends
said goodbye to some amazing friends
played guitar in front of people for the first time
got a new roommate..2 actually
began my career in dog sitting lol
went down 2 pants sizes! woohoo
decided that I might just go to seminary
fell in love with Jesus even more than before
Finished my 3rd year of college..started my 4th.
had knee surgery.
became a youth leader
realized even more my need for my Savior
made some awesome friends
said goodbye to some amazing friends
played guitar in front of people for the first time
got a new roommate..2 actually
began my career in dog sitting lol
went down 2 pants sizes! woohoo
decided that I might just go to seminary
fell in love with Jesus even more than before
Friday, November 20, 2009
decisions...
So I graduate college in about a year (December '10) and I have been thinking a lot lately about what I should do after. I think God wants me to go to grad school or seminary. I am having a tough time making a decision on where to go and what to study. Here is what I am looking at..
stay at CIU and do the one year Masters of Bible Teaching
or possibly another program at CIU.
Go to Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and possibly study student ministry..a 2-3 year degree
Go to North Greenville University for their Masters of Christian Ministry Degree..a 1-2 year degree.
I am kinda ruling out CIU, because it's the most expensive option. SEBTS is the cheapest, but NGU isn't much more. I am kinda leaning towards NGU, but I want to learn more about their program and talk to some students and see what its like.
My other thoughts of what to do after undergrad are..
the Journeyman program with the IMB..its a 2-3 year oversee's commitment.
to to East Asia and teach english..which is a year commitment at a time..and I can stay as long as I want.
go straight to the mission field..not sure with who or how or where.
I know I do not want to get a 9-5, or any "real job"
..thats not me. God has other plans for my life...i think..im pretty sure
pray for direction and guidance..and patience..because I want an answer now..but I know it will come in God's time.
also, I would like to hear your feedback..what do you think? Any other suggestions? Comments..anything.
wow..can I just say that God is super cool.
I just opened my email in a new window, and I receive a daily devotional thing..and it was talking about the future and how it is in God's hands. AMAZING! awesome timing.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." - Psalm 32:8
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Be thankful
I am thankful for…
my salvation..my Savior loves me enough to take on my sin and die on a cross for me.
my family..they are crazy but I love them
socks..they keep my feet warm
music.
football.
rainy days
a place to live
my school
God's provision
orange juice
friends
trees
my guitars
the ability to learn
the privilege to live in a country where I can worship Jesus freely and I do not have to worry about my life being taken from me
God's grace..oh how I need it
bagels and cream cheese
the ability to run and play sports
beautiful cloudless skies
a super awesome church family..-they are the best..for real
passion for teenagers
electricity
the ability to cook
swimming pools on hot summer days
a job
coffee
my car
a bed to sleep in
cereal
sweet tea
the youth group I work with
clean drinking water
Gamecock football
awesome professors to learn from and to be mentored by
quiet, cool fall mornings
the mountains
orange jello
This is just a short list. God has given me so much to be thankful for. During this thanksgiving season think about, even write down the things you are thankful for, even the small things..like orange jello :-)
Friday, November 13, 2009
I am redeemed!
Redeem
-to buy back
-to free from what harms
-to atone for
-to remove the obligation of payment
I owed a huge debt that I could not repay. This debt was to God. He required perfection. I am flawed and sinful. I had no chance of paying this debt. There was one person who was able to pay it. His name, Jesus. He lived a perfect life. He was flawless. Never once did He sin. Therefore, Jesus was able free us from the damnation of hell that we deserve. It is because Jesus shed His blood, died on the cross and rose again, that our sins are taken care of.
Isn't awesome that God LOVES us that much that He is willing to sacrifice His son as the payment for OUR sin?
I love this song. The words are powerful and they are so true in my own life.
When I think of all my faults and my failures
When I consider all the times I’ve let God down
I’m humbled by the grace he has extended
I’m amazed at the mercy I have found
I could never earn His love on my own
Yet every time I come before His throne
Chorus:
I stand redeemed by the blood of the lamb
I stand redeemed before the great I am
When He looks at me He see the nailed scarred hands
That bought my liberty, I stand redeemed
Even at my best I am unworthy
I have nothing precious I can give
A broken life is all I have to offer
And yet it is a priceless gift to Him
The bitter mark of sin will never fade away
But I can come before Him unashamed
I screw up.. a lot. I let God down plenty. I don't like that I do, but I am just human so it happens. His grace, His unmerited favor, is awesome. It amazes me that His love for me is that great. I have nothing but my brokenness to offer God, and the cool thing is, that He accepts that. He uses my brokenness. WOW. What an awesome God. Because of the blood of the lamb, because of the nail scarred hands, I stand redeemed!!
My friend,
are you redeemed? Have you accepted that grace that God so freely offers?
If your saying no, then please, allow Him to redeem you. He will do awesome things in your life!
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