Wondering Why?

3 days ago I was supposed to leave for Gatlingburg, TN.  but around 3 weeks ago, i broke my foot. A lot of emotions have gone through me within the last week or so. I know that God has a plan and He works all things out for those who believe in Him, but I have really been struggling a lot with God's will for my life for this summer.  I was pretty confident in that fact that God had called me to go to TN.  I had a great peace about it and I was really excited. Yeah I didn't want to leave home and the ministry i have here, but I knew that God was going to do something awesome up in TN.  After phone conversations and prayer and thinking it through, I am going to make a final decision on June 7th after I go back to the doctor.  Maybe God will allow me to go then, but I am really feeling like the door is closing here. And that confuses me, upsets me and somewhat angers me.  Why would God allow me to get so excited about this ministry and going and then slam the door in my face. (ok i know he hasn't slammed the door in my face but that what it feels like sometimes) I know it sounds like im whining or not trusting God, but I am really just questioning.  I'm having a hard time dealing with this right now and writing about it helps to process.  
I really hate this cast on my leg. It is a pain. Hopping around all day wears me out. Asking people for help drives me crazy. Staying in my house all the time is causing me to lose my mind, but its to tiresome to get out and go anywhere, not to mention, I don't have my car right now.


on a brighter note, my grades for last semester were; 1 A, 3 B's and 1 C+
and im taking Mark online next semester and I am really excited, so excited that I already ordered the CD and will be ordering the book soon and I plan on getting the work done over summer break.


Pray for me to have peace and patience with God.
and to find a place to live; and afford come August.


God is good.
i whine to much.
but i am human.